GETTING DIVORCED?

"Is there anything better than the Rule of Law? Is there a realistic alternative to the legal system? I believe there is. It is one in which results are obtained voluntarily, And decisions are made by consensus; Where parties design the form and content of their negotiations, Where there is informality and infinite capacity for creative results ... It is one where emotions are expressed, acknowledged and respected; Where greater concern is shown for the future than the past, Where third parties facilitate without deciding, and as empathetic rather than neutral. It is one in which people are encouraged to act honestly, Empathetically, collaboratively, humbly and creatively; Where forgiveness and reconciliation are encouraged; Where people are allowed to be human, direct and open; Where anyone can understand what is happening And participate fully without professional jargon. It is one without coercion, That encourages collaboration and permits both sides to win. IT IS MEDIATION". (Ken Cloke.)

Marriage and Divorce mediation. (Saving your marriage or Divorce with dignity)

When we have reached a stage in our relationship where we experience feelings of despair and have turned to family and friends for help, but realise that nothing is happening, no changes are developing, the future still seems bleak, and we gradually perceive that the people we approached are all in agreement with what we want, then we suddenly realise that there must be a better way, a more realistic alternative, a means to understand what is happening.

Our feelings have led us to a lack of communication and a lack of respect for one another. The moment has arrived to understand oneself and one's situation, to ask the right questions, to apply the right technique, to find the answers. It has now become appropriate to implement a systematic approach to facts and to clarify intentions, to act honestly, empathetically and humbly, to have the courage to activate forgiveness and reconciliation. It is time for MEDIATION. WHY MEDIATION?

1. Disclosure of personal matters is avoided because it is confidential.
2. Parties share and retain control over cost, financially and emotionally.
3. Results are obtained voluntarily and decisions are made by consensus.
4. Parties design the form and content of their negotiations in an informal atmosphere.
5. The third party facilitates without deciding.
6. Emotions are expressed, acknowledged and respected.
7. Greater concern is shown for the future than the past.
8. Third parties are empathetic rather than neutral.
9. Clients take charge of their lives in the face of great uncertainty.
10. Damaging consequences of costly adversarial divorce is avoided.
11. Clients close the door of the marriage rather than to slam it shut.
12. Experienced professionals assist clients in:

• Identifying issues they need to resolve.
• Children visitation and custody.
• Spousal and child support.
• Detailed parenting planning.
• Property division.
• Retirement distribution.
• Debt repayment.

It is possible to bring parties in conflict to mutually agreeable results which may lead to a more effective relationship - thereby avoiding one of the most costly relationship decisions of your life!

Before you start with the legal process of divorce it is important that:-

1. You are sure that your marriage has broken down.
2. You have tried to reconstruct your relationship.
3. For either both or one of you divorce is the only way out.

Above all remember that you need to make appropriate and rational decisions and the mediator helps you to accomplish just that.